25th June, 2014: It was 10:24 in the morning and I was getting ready to go out with my BFF Afshan and another friend Fatma, when I got a call on my mobile phone from an unknown number. I couldn’t pick up the call as I was occupied that time, so asked my Mom to receive the call. On picking up the call “Haan! Ye Samad Sahab ka ghar kaha peh hain” , “Yaha se seedha jayiye or ghoom jaiye” this is what she could hear (two men talking to each other).

Anyways, she understood that someone was looking for our house, probably a courier or post-man. And then after 5 minutes she called out for me saying “Dekho kya aaya hai tumhare liye!” I asked “Kya hai Mumma” & she was like “I don’t know. I think it’s a cake.” I was really confused as to who has sent a cake for me. Never mind! I just came running to my Mum to see what it was and who has sent it. At first I couldn’t understand but when the courier man showed me the receipt I understood who it was. It was though unbelievable.

I then realized that not only a cake but there was a bouquet of flowers too and that was a time when there was no limit to my happiness and excitement. I was jumping & hopping as if it was not my 23rd but 3rd B’day. I couldn’t control my excitement and happiness from over-flowing. I was overwhelmed, excited, surprized, happy, joyful and what not. Flowers are like my FIRST LOVE and specially those colourful roses with a few strands of those white coloured tiny flowers. They are like the best gift for me in any & every occasion, be it B’day, Wedding, Sickness or a day without any occasion. If possible, I would ask my dear ones to get flowers for me even on the day I die. FLOWERSSSSSSSSS!! Huhhh!! I loveeee them!! One of the most beautiful creations of ALLAH.

Okay! I’m sure now you must be thinking who it was to send me the best ever gift on my B’day that too through courier service. Ahhhh!

I then smelled the flowers and opened the box of the cake. It was a chocolate cake! Woww! Yummiiee! CHOCOLATE CAKE! Chocolates – my second love. After a while when I managed to control my excitement on my Mum shouting at me politely with a smile on her face “Baccha log ke tarah kood rahi ho pagal” I discovered a small little card inside the polybag, which read “A2fa many many happy returns of The day. Dipak Dasgupta your 25 year old friend with 50 yrs experience (this is what I call him) 25/06/2014”

I was so happy to get those flowers that I carried them with me for the whole day. I and my two dear friends clicked pictures with those flowers. And it was a day full of fun. The morning itself was so pleasing that the day had to be a greater fun.
 

Thanks for making it so exciting and joyful! :)

A2fa ©

Dard padhne ke kam ho jaate..
Mai or tum gar paper share kar paate..
Mai or tum gar paper share kar paate..

Kitne haseen marks ho jaate..
Mai or tum gar paper share kar paate..
Mai or tum gar paper share kar paate..

Dard padhne ke kam ho jaate..
Mai or tum gar paper share kar paate..
Mai or tum gar paper share kar paate..

Kitne haseen marks ho jaate..
Mai or tum gar paper share kar paate..
Mai or tum gar paper share kar paate..

Tera paper dekhne bina na aaye sukoon..
Na aaye karar mujhe..
Door fail hone kebharam ho jaate..
Mai or tum gar paper share kar paate..
Mai or tum gar paper share kar paate..

Paper adhura marks adhure..
Answers mare kar do na poore..
Dil to yahi chahye..
Tera aur Mera ho jaaye muqammal ye exam ka paper..
Har answer aasaan ho jaata
Mai or tum gar paper share kar paate..

Kitne haseen marks ho jaate..
Mai or tum gar paper share kar paate..
Mai or tum gar paper share kar paate..

Aata nahi kuch, par dil na maane..
Dil ki baatein dil he jaane..
Hum dono paas ho jayenge ek din, in umeedon pe he mai hoon yaha (exam hall)..
Har answer haasil ho jata..
Mai or tum agar gum ho jaate..

Kitne haseen marks ho jaate..
Mai or tum gar paper share kar paate..
Mai or tum gar paper share kar paate..

Dard padhne ke kam ho jaate..
Mai or tum gar paper share kar paate..
Mai or tum gar paper share kar paate..

(A dedication to my two Pretty Ducklings, Ayesha Afifa & Shama Kalam Siddiqui..)

A2fa ©

The only good and the best thing about load shedding is, it gets the whole family together in one room/courtyard/terrace..

And then begins the moment you can cherish throughout your life (more fun in a joint family like mine)..
Family gossips, childhood memories, horror stories, real life incidents, stories and experiences, cracking jokes and sharing of some hard learned lessons of life, getting to know some experiences which only a grey haired person can have, learning things the easy way! And when a husky voice says, "Bhoot ki kahani sun'ni hai?" (Want to listen to ghost stories?) and all the young and also some of the adult members of the family shout in chorus, 'Haan! Haan! Yay! (Yes! Yes! Yay!), among those cheerful voices you get to hear a sound almost like a whisper (due to the noise pollution created by all others) saying, "Nahi nahi bhoot ki kahani nahi! Mai so nahi sakunga raat ko." (No no! Not ghost stories! I won't be able to sleep at night.) and then again a chorale of voice trying to shut him/her up.
Now begins the story: "So it was 10 years ago when I used to be 48, I went to visit someone in some village side area and for that I had to cross a small forest like place after getting out of the railway station, with huge trees all around. It was around 8 PM, and 8 in a village is too late to be out and especially 10 years ago it was. So.... I kept walking for around 5 minutes when I encountered a little girl sitting under a tree with a hand-made doll in hand........"
And suddenly one of the wickedest member among them all approaches your left ear from behind and shouts into it, 'Bhoooo', everyone else present also start screaming, and you with your heart in your mouth, are trying to analyse what actually happened - one of the best moments during load shedding times (maybe not for the victim, but for all others)..

To be continued….

A2fa ©

I never thought things would turn THIS bad. It didn’t appear in the worst of my nightmares that such a day would also come. A day when I’ll see that happy group split, a day when people who once said all good stuffs about each other would behave like enemies, a day when the person I respected & honoured THE MOST would just leave me for something that is not even known by me, a day when all the dreams we had as a group and as individuals would burn down into ashes, a day that will make me realize ‘apne to apne he hote hain, no one else can be your own, unless they are, by birth.’ It was so unbelievable to take such harsh words from the one who could not think of hurting me in his nightmares even. A person who always treated me as his own (blood relation), a person who always suggested me the best possible things, a person who always wanted to see me at great heights, a person who not only said but meant each and every word of what he said.

This is not fair! God this cannot be done. This was not how it was supposed to end. Rather it was NEVER supposed to end until death. I’m unable to believe and absorb it. It’s so impossible for me to believe that it’s all over. Is this how You planned it to be? But WHY?? It was like my second family.

HELP ME GOD to be a strong girl and a carefree lady.

Seeking Your refuge, ALLAH!

A2fa ©

I’ve cried enough tears, I’ve swallowed enough lumps of pain, I’ve concealed enough wounds, I’ve spent enough sleepless nights, I’ve taken enough rebukes, I’ve tolerated enough agony, now no more. I’m not going to cry, I’m not going to wait and try (putting things back into place). I’m now going to move on, leaving behind whatever is gone. No regret, just forget. Life is short if you think of giving back at least 10 % of what you parents have given you; at the same time life is extensive if you want to spend it regretting and fighting. So, it’s time to do something other than shedding tears. It time to make myself and not break myself. People keep coming and going, but time would never come back. Making use of time and utilizing it in the correct place is what is needed.

I’m sorry, but no more regrets. Mr. / Ms. Sorry, I’m really sorry but I cannot keep you in my dictionary anymore, hence I’m deleting the word ‘SORRY’ from my dictionary.

I’ve cried enough tears, I’ve swallowed enough lumps of pain, I’ve concealed enough wounds, I’ve spent enough sleepless nights, I’ve taken enough rebukes, I’ve tolerated enough agony, now no more, now no more, now no more....

A2fa ©

I’ve 111 people in my Facebook Friends’ List. But I just can’t ask any random person from my FB list to lend me his/her shoulders when I cry. I can’t pick any random guy or a girl from there and ask him/her out for a movie. I can’t go on blabbering in front of someone whom I hardly care for or think to be worthy enough. I’m not a stupid person to share my secrets with every person I come across on a social networking site like Facebook. I can’t speak out my heart to those 111 people. I can’t ask them to accompany me for my college project or to come along with me to some far off place. I can’t do this simply because I don’t trust them enough. Nor can I just get pissed at them if they deny me something or maybe don’t care for me, it’s because they are just a quantity to me not quality. Friends are never found in quantity. If you say “I’m a very friendly person and I have friends all around the world.” Then my dear, you are fool, they are not your friends, they are simply your connections, just because you like socializing with people. Friends are not who are there in our Twitter, Orkut or Facebook list, they are, who are there in our hearts. Despite my FB list being 111, I feel lonely when I don’t meet my friends.

Maybe, friends are something else for you but for me friends are who are there in my heart, who are the ones to understand and support us in good deeds and also stop me from getting into anything wrong, who at times sacrifices or reschedules their other appointments just for me, who understands that I need them even when I say I don’t. Calling yourself a friend is not a big deal, but PROVING yourself to be a FRIEND, definitely is.

I know I’m mad, stupid, idiot, stubborn and full of attitude and ego but this is only when I get extremely infuriated, and this is the time when you need to understand me and know the situation prevailing inside of me. I’ll say every stupid stuff that comes to my mouth randomly without giving a second thought, but you need to understand that I’m not in a proper state of mind. The moment I get back to my normal state, I’ll definitely regret and come back to you with a hell lot of sorries, but till then you need to keep calm and help me cool down. If you can’t do these things for a friend then please STOP calling yourself a friend. A friend should know how to deal with another friend in different situations. When a person is angry, he/she will say everything that they never mean.

If I had the option to choose my own customized title for the ‘Friends’ column in FB, I definitely would have renamed it as ‘People’ or ‘Contacts’.

(A dedication to MYSELF & to all my friends and everyone who claims to be a friend to someone/anyone.)

A2fa ©

It was so painful and lonely to be in the hospital among those unknown patients, aayas, nurses, ward boys & doctors. That was so not homely. I was so upset. But anyhow, I was excited about the VIP treatment that I was about to get. People coming to meet and treat me as their most favourite child, niece, friend, daughter, etc. That was a time when I felt I can easily make out who are my real friends and who are the ones who actually care for me. And not surprisingly I was right. This trip to the hospital taught me many things. Also it made me feel guilty of a few things I did in my past. I just wanted to be surrounded by people, my Mom & my Friends, I just wanted all of my friends to be with me for as much time as possible. There were some whom I expected to appear as soon as they heard of me getting hospitalized and there were some whom I never expected to even bother to ask about me. But unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, things turned upside down. The ones who were not expected were the ones to show up & the ones who were most expected and also I was waiting for never bothered to ask even. It was hurting. The one’s I considered to be my besties either showed up too late or never showed up only. It was too hurting when a person for who’s health I prayed day and night, for whom I gave up every other thing and also was ready to share the pain the person was going through, when hospitalized, never even bothered to call up ones and ask how I was. No matter how bad a fight we had, no matter what had happened between us, but this was not the time to show your anger. Anyways, maybe that’s how it was supposed to be. This incident gave me a lesson than hatred & anger is beyond any love. But this was not it, to my surprise a friend who I thought “was” my friend, visited me. I never expected her to come because I considered her to be a girl with great ego and attitude. I never thought she would ever come to see me no matter how serious I am. But to my surprize she proved me wrong. And by proving me wrong she also gave me a lesson that Humanity is above all and also no matter how rude you get to your friend, that goodness you had being a friend never goes. It was the happiest time when I saw this side of her, my whole vision of her changed. I also felt guilty of whatever happened. She made me realize that it was wrong of me to show so much of attitude and ego. I was so impressed by her. Attitude and ego is not always what you should hold back to or what gets you respect. It’s you heart and you kindness and your forgiving and forgetting nature that gains you respect. And to be honest, I really have started respecting that lady. And contradictorily I learnt that ego and attitude is not above all.
 

(I was not getting better words to put forward my feelings. This is not worth being blogged but just wanted people to know a little of what one should be like)

A2fa ©